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To gain respect it first has to be earned and the best way of gaining respect is to respect others, even when you disagree with them.

Respect means taking into consideration a whole variety of aspects belonging to another person, such as their feelings, their needs, their thoughts, their ideas, what they wish for themselves and their preferences.

It means taking all of these seriously and valuing that person for their thoughts and feelings, etc. acknowledging them, listening to them, being truthful with them, and accepting their individuality and their idiosyncrasies.

Respect can be shown through the way we behave towards another but it can also be felt. I’m not talking here about feeling respected by another person but in feeling and not just showing respect towards another person.

Respect comes from understanding that everyone has value as a unique human being and is shown by treating and speaking to others in the way that we in turn would want to be treated and spoken to – doing unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Showing respect to others, whilst it may be greatly appreciated by that other, actually says a lot more about your own character; it says that you recognize that other people have feelings, skills, and thoughts and that you accept them as being just as important as your own.

And so, one of the most important things you can ever teach your child is respect and you can do that best showing them respect. Just like any adult, when a child experiences respect, they feel a buzz and they like it and so they begin to understand the importance of respect and show it to others.

Respect is an attitude of mind. Learning to be respectful to others helps a child to succeed in later life. Children who don’t have respect for their peers, for authority, or even for themselves, find it almost impossible to succeed. A respectful child takes care of their belongings, accepts and carries out their responsibilities, and gets along with their peers. They enjoy life more.

Although schools teach children about respect, it’s their parents who have the most influence on how respectful children become. Until children show respect at home, it’s unlikely they will show it anywhere else but they’ll never show respect unless they first experience it and the positive buzz they get from it.

So, how can you show respect to your child – here are 10 sure fire ways:

1.whenever you do something wrong (and we all do from time to time), be man enough (or woman enough) to admit it and apologise to them;
2.never embarrass or insult them or make fun of them;
3.try and compliment them often, especially when they’ve done something good;
4.allow them to make choices and to take some responsibility;
5.before making a decision on an issue or problem first listen to their side of the story;
6.be polite and use “please” and “thank you” when asking them to do things;
7.always knock before entering their room;
8.always keep your promises or, if you can’t, at least make sure they understand why;
9.show them that you mean what you say by being consistent; and
10.give your child your full attention when dealing with them.

Most importantly, though, teach your children that respect is only ever earned and ensure that you lead by example and model respectful behaviour towards them and to others with whom they see you in contact.

Self-respect is one of the most important forms of respect so additionally you need to teach your child to have respect for themselves. Being able to respect ourselves, makes it easier to respect others.

Help them set and achieve goals and praise them often for their good deeds, behaviours or traits. Teach them that it’s okay to make mistakes so long as they own up to their mistakes and learn from them. Encourage honesty by being a law-abiding citizen yourself; showing concern for your environment, for animals and for other people. And whenever an example of disrespect is witnessed discuss it openly and honestly with your child

And lastly, tell them how much you love them several times every day – being loved is an integral part of being respected. Then you’re sure to raise a child capable of both giving and gaining respect and who values their own self esteem – their self respect.

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