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Your child’s self esteem should be a sound foundation, a rock on which to anchor their future development.

A self-assured child is one who is confident, feels secure, is happy, well-adjusted and successful, is able to solve problems and who thrives under a loving parent’s nurturing care.

It’s all very well, though, understanding the concept of a self assured child but, how do you build self esteem in your child?

Here are a five sure fire ways to go about it:

1.accept your child for who they are;
2.help them do the same;
3.teach your child that nobody is perfect, and that everyone makes mistakes;
4.show them how to learn and grow from their mistakes; and
5.let them know that you also make mistakes.

Children with high self esteem are able to take the lessons they accrue from their mistakes and then to apply them down the road, whereas a child with low self esteem becomes frustrated and resorts to self-deprecating behaviour, such as calling themselves ‘stupid’ and vowing to ‘never try that again.’

Help your child discover their abilities and talents, and encourage outlets for them to build on and improve them. Praise a child not only for improvements in abilities and skills, but also for the traits they naturally possess.

One of the greatest killers of self esteem is the habit of comparison and imitation. It stops a child from being themselves as they compare faces, figures, fitness, intelligence etc. Probably the most important step in building their self esteem is to help them break the habit of comparison; to stop them unconsciously trying to be like someone else. Help them to realise that they are a wonderful, individual and a special person – that there’s no one quite like them.

Encourage your child to make positive choices and engage with them in an open and honest dialogue, discussing with them the possibilities. Children who learn skills for making positive choices when they are younger are well-prepared for the tougher choices they have to face when they are older.

Also, ensure that you spend as much quality time with your child as you can, at least once a week: take time to talk to them and keep in touch with what they’re doing; what’s important to them.

If you find it difficult to squeeze in quality time during a hectic week, take the time to talk about things during the drive to school, while they are helping you put the groceries away or over dinner.

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