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How often has your child had a tantrum in the supermarket or on the high street and you’ve allowed your positive parenting skills to go out the window?
It’s so easy, in the full glare of a perceived audience, to give
in to your child’s tantrums and so quieten their screaming rather than to discipline them then and there.
I’m not talking about smacking them; goodness knows, no one wants to see a child physically disciplined – though a few onlookers may relish the chance to ‘dob you in’ (where I come from that’s slang for reporting you to the authorities). And, no doubt, some children may deserve a slap on the legs, but these days, that’s only going to get you into bother.
No! I’m talking here of using positive parenting techniques to discipline your child and to hell with who may or may not be looking. Who cares? As a positive parent you certainly shouldn’t! But far too many, otherwise positive, parents do care what other people think of what they do in public with regard to their children. Read now this excellent article on the subject from Paula Woodburn, West Palm Beach Parenting Examiner, in the Family & Home section of Examiner.com: "The permissive parent-parenting with purpose".
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The permissive parent-parenting with purpose
August 17, 2:07 AM
West Palm Beach Parenting ExaminerPaula Woodburn
Parenting is like a contact sport. To win you have to get in it and get active. If you simply stand on the field in your own little world, you'll get demolished by the other players. It can be exhausting and positively exasperating. Parents who stand on the sidelines cheering everyone on and offering no direction to the players are doing their children an incredible injustice. Permissive parents indulge their children to keep them "happy". It is far easier to soothe a child than to discipline him or her. Take a walk downtown on any given weekend to experience this. A child throws a temper tantrum and the embarrassed parent quickly offers a toy or a piece of food, anything to get the screaming to stop. She quickly looks around offering apologies with a shame washed face hoping for pity or understanding from those standing around. A problem then arises, the little one has learned a valuable lesson...in public, mom will give me anything I want. Children are intrepid explorers and master manipulators. Without words infants have to learn how to get a point across, and crying is a principal tool. When wielded correctly, crying facilitates parents becoming puppets on a string, sworn to obey every whine or face the consequences of being labeled a bad parent. One question though-in the words of Barbra Streisand in The Mirror has Two Faces- "Mom, who's looking?" and may I add, "If they are looking, what do their opinion matter?
Are they there with you at night as you worry about this little one's future? Are they with you when your baby is sick and you are up till three trying to break a fever? Are they with you when you see your baby off to school for the first time? People are very quick to judge that which does not concern them. Taking the time to discipline your child at the moment it is needed will go a long way in making your life easier and giving your little one the security children so desperately need. You see, children, like us, do not like discipline, but they love the benefits of discipline. No one likes to be held back, but everyone wants to know how far they can go before they get hurt. Permissive parenting does far more harm than good. It fails to teach a child appropriate limits, it promotes overindulgence, and is a lazy way to parent. Getting off the bench and getting into the fray is never easy, however, the benefits for tomorrow far outweigh the fear of today. Anything you want your little one to do as a teenager has to be taught while they are still young. So suit up, put on some protective heart gear and jump in with both feet..
For more info: www.buzzle.com/articles/the-consequences-of-permissive-parenting.html
parenting.families.com/blog/permissive-parenting-an-overview
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